Mind Games 2
by Escape
Summary: Mel is murdered, but something allows her to come back. It sounds simple, but someone else has stolen her body, and the Anis don't know which one to trust...
1. A Lesson Learned

Copyright 2000 

Disclaimer: Most of the characters belong to K.A. Applegate. The rest are mine. 

I told you I'd do it! Here's what makes Mel Mel- with an actual plot! If you don't like Mel, please try and read this. Maybe you'll eventually change your mind. Give Mel a chance, will you? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? 

Oh- and to everyone who just hopped in here- this is a sequel to "Mind Games." It'll make better sense after you read that, HONEST! 

Chapter 1 

To begin with, I'm not really sure how to start. I mean, the me that everyone sees, the "In-Your-Face-So-Get-Out-Of-My-Way" Mel isn't really appreciated. But then again, it's a pain to be the real me. 

I guess this will take some explaining. I'll try not to be so rude or arrogant or whatever else people call me behind my back, but I'm not going to be sappy and all that, either. 

It's been a full two months since my last, uh, job. I'm sure all of you fine people know what that was, so I won't bother to explain it too much. Basically, all you need to know- or be reminded of- is this: A girl with really weird powers goes down to the Yeerk pool, and saves- HELPS save the day. 

Yeah. That's it. HELPS save the day. 

Well, next thing you know, Jake introduces me to this boy named Erek. I already knew who Erek was. I'm sure you do too. You know, androids called Chee? They love dogs. A lot. 

It began about a week after I got out of the hospital for a checkup after a fire destroyed the building I was in. 

Jake took me to Burger King to meet a friend of his named Erek. He had apparently forgotten that I knew everything he knew about Erek thanks to Marco. I didn't point it out to him. 

When we got to the Burger King, Jake dragged me over to a table where a boy about my age was sitting alone, playing with the pepper shaker in his boredom. I guess we were late. Anyway, Erek stood up as he saw us coming. 

"Hey, Jake." Jake and Erek shook hands. After that, Jake sat down with a sigh and then remembered he was supposed to introduce me when Erek gave him the evil eye. 

"Oh. Yeah. Um, Erek, this is Mel- uh, Melanie." I glared at him. The guys knew full well that I didn't like the name Melanie. "Right," he said. "Mel, this is Erek." 

"You can call me Mel," I said as I shook hands with him. Instantly, just as I had hoped, his entire lifetime of memories, feelings, and thoughts leapt into mine. Sure. Ordinarily, you can't do that with machines. But I'm not ordinary. Never said I was. I made copies of them all and stored them away in my mind so I could look back at them later. In the meantime, I didn't have the time to watch his memories of building the pyramids or watching the sea be parted by Noah. 

"So," Erek began a bit nervously. "Jake was telling me that you, um... You..." He looked to Jake, hoping for some signal as to how to continue. 

"Jake was telling you that I had a bunch of powers and you were wondering if you could train me?" 

Erek nodded. 

I nodded. "Fine by me." I grinned evilly. "You've got your work cut out for you; I can tell you that." 

So from that day on, I either went to Erek's house or he came over to mine after school. Every day, he works me so hard that I throw up. I've got to say this for Erek: He's nice and a great friend, but he's a seriously tough teacher. 

Other things that have happened... Nope. I can't think of any. I'm sorry, but I'll try to point them out as I go along. 

Okay. Forget it. I'm sick of even trying to be nice while I write this. You don't even know me, so why should you judge me? The only people who think that I'm rude are the popular kids who used to be my friends before deciding they were too good to have a mind of their own. 

You know, that sounded better in my mind. 

Oh, well. I'll make you a deal. You put up with me, and I'll let you finish reading the story. Deal? Great. 

Now, this is the serious intro. It's like the one in the movies. "I'm baaaaaaaaack!" You know, I could actually say that in a movie, but no one has discovered me yet. 

Don't laugh- it's the truth. I just simply haven't been discovered yet. 

I thought I told you not to laugh. So stop already! 

In case the wonderful attitude hasn't tipped you off yet, I'm Mel. Yep, that's right. The great and wonderful, one-of-a-kind Mel. I think I told you that I'd be back for a sequel. 

Now then. Let's get started with the actual plot. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we won't have to look at each other. Deal? Great. 

If you want to read that really cool story about how Marco acts like James Bond and we get to blow up a lot of stuff, click HERE. 

Or if you want to read that really superb, cool, neat-o and all that good stuff story (my personal favorite) where I die and have to fight my way back to the world of the living in time to save the world, click HERE. 

Nothing happened? Darn. I'll have to get that fixed one of these days. I guess you'll just have to cope with this one- that is, if you can stand me as the narrator. Of course, if you're too chicken (Brawk!), feel free to just eject yourself from this great and wonderful story written by great and wonderful me. 

Or are you turkey and not chicken? (Gobble, gobble.) 

As far as school goes, Brandy hates me more than ever now. And, you know, that's just too bad. I actually kind of liked her. ~Falls out of chair laughing.~ 

Okay, for all those people who unjustly said that my accomplishments aren't even that great- take a bite of this: Straight A student. 4.0 GPA. President of half a dozen clubs. Captain of the soccer team. A boyfriend two years older than me (and on the football team!), and a writer on one magazine, consultant for a major web site, and school magazie editor. Try doing all of those things in your first two weeks of high school. 

Things started moving fast in the second month of school. School for me, that is. The guys, lucky them, had just started school that past month. 

Now then. It started when I was having weird dreams. In them, I was younger, and if one of the guys had seen me back then, they would have been amazed at how different I had been. The only thing I could remember when I woke up, though, was what I just told you and then the feeling of being surrounded by water. 

Still, I'd only felt that feeling once. It was when I had nearly drowned. I'd gotten away, but the person who had tried to drown me was still looking for me. 

The dreams told me more than I wanted to know. Not only had that person found me, but she had a gift of her own. 

She could tell everything about someone, just as I could. Except she did it through dreams. I could do it by touch or by joining my mind to theirs- something I found out how to do during my studies with Erek. It had taken a while to control it. I'd been able to hear everyone's thoughts at once. But I'd finally managed to block out the noise or home in on just one person's thought voice. 

She had found out about the others- the Animorphs and the Chee- through me. I'd led her straight to them. She wouldn't hesitate to sell them out. All she needed was a plan. 

One day I woke up and knew that we had to do something. 

She'd found her plan. 

Chapter 2 

"You don't believe me?" I asked. I looked around at the others. We were gathered in Cassie's barn, and I had just told them about my dreams and what I thought they meant. 

"They're dreams," Marco said with a shrug. 

Cassie looked me in the eye. "I think you're trying to find some way to express your fear of this person by making her a Controller who's chasing us. You're just afraid that we'll get caught." 

I shook my head. 

Rachel sighed, exasperated. "Look, it's just a dream, okay? We all have dreams. I had one where I killed Kenny from South Park once. That doesn't mean it happened." 

I stuck to my point. "Have I ever been wrong before?" 

"Relax," Erek told me calmly. "There's always a first time. And no one said that you were wrong." 

"I'm sorry, I thought the part where everyone was telling me the dreams weren't real was kind of telling me they thought I was wrong." 

He shrugged. 

I slammed my fists against the bail of hay I was sitting on. "Why can't you believe me?" 

"We'll believe you when it happens," Marco said resolutely. 

"IDIOT!" I shouted at him. "By then, it'll be too late!" 

Jake sighed. "Look, Mel. It was a dream. We have to believe that until we find out otherwise, okay?" 

We don't have your gift, Ax told me. We do not understand it. Therefore, you cannot expect us to accept it as easily as you have. 

"You can't understand the Ellimist, either," I pointed out angrily. "You believe in him!" 

The Ellimist is different, Tobias said. 

"Yeah, right," I said as I stormed out of the barn. I shut the door- no, that isn't right. I SLAMMED the door behind me. I leaned against it for a few seconds, trying to calm down and catch my breath. My eyes were starting to sting. "Please don't wait until it's too late," I said softly. Then I sprinted for the woods so I could take the shortcut to my house. I don't know if Tobias heard me or not. I didn't stick around long enough to find out. 

Half an hour later, I sent my mind back to see what they were up to. They had dismissed my dreams, and Erek was telling everybody about some stolen nuclear missiles that had disappeared recently. 

* * * 

I was sleeping again. But I knew at the same time that while my body was resting, I wasn't. I was connected to my body only by a faint memory and a thin string. I didn't need any more than that. 

I looked around me. Surprisingly, I was incredibly calm. I could see the familiar shapes of my computer and pictures on the walls. I could just barely see the bed where I was sleeping. Yet at the same time, everything was cloudy, covered by a fog that was a thousand different colors all at once. This wasn't my dimension. It wasn't the one I was used to. Yet I knew it. I was familiar with it. I had the feeling that I was meant to be here. 

Suddenly, I felt a prickle. Not fear, danger. That was it. Danger. I'd felt it once before. Or at least I felt it in this same SHADE before. It reminded me of being surrounded by water. Before I knew what was happening, everything was spinning around me. I fell to my knees, gasping for breath. On the bed, I could see that I- my body- was thrashing around wildly, getting trapped in the sheets. 

I closed my eyes. It's only a dream, I commanded myself. No, it isn't dreaming. It's real. It's all too real. But the drowning is my imagination. Because here, my imagination is more powerful than in the other dimension. 

"Very good." 

I snapped back to attention. On the bed, my body had calmed down and was now breathing soundly. Right in front of me was Leslie. 

She hadn't changed in the years I had last seen her. We had grown up together in a tough neighborhood, and she had gone to do things like get high with her friends or drink or steal cigarettes. That sort of thing. Luckily, I'd gotten out of the neighborhood before it had affected me that much. Years later we had run into each other and she had- Oh, well. I got the feeling that Leslie wasn't part of this world anymore. She looked kind of, well, dead. I stood up and we circled each other, each sizing the other up. Her hair was darker, thinner, and stringier than it had been, but the ruthlessness in the eyes was still there. The prowling walk. Her tan skin looked a bit paler, I think, but I couldn't be too sure. 

"You look like you breathed in too much Coke," I told her. 

She grinned. "You look like you haven't." 

For a long while, neither one of us said a thing. 

I finally broke the silence. "You can't have them," I told her firmly. 

She tsk-ed at me. "Oh, come now, Mel. They didn't even believe you." She looked at me knowingly. "You were a fool to trust them." 

I laughed. "True. I do trust them. But they aren't my friends. They have to do things in that world. That doesn't mean they're my friends. I don't have friends." Briefly I wondered why I had said "that" world. Then I remembered that we were in a different dimension. 

Now Leslie laughed. "Right, right. Well, Mel. I guess I'm here to finish the job." 

I grinned. "You really think that you're going to kill me? You? Kill me?" I paused. She was still staring at me. I sighed, exasperated- a trick I'd learned from Rachel. "Aren't you catching the sarcasm here?" 

She blinked at me. "Don't you notice something, here? This is my universe. My planet. My home." 

"So this is where you come whenever you get high?" 

She smiled at me, but the smile wasn't nearly as hearty as the first smile. "Those drugs are power." 

"Right. They have the power to kill brain cells. I didn't know that was true until I met you. Tell me, Leslie. Did you ever graduate second grade?" 

The smile, by this point, was frozen on her face, obviously forced. She dropped the smile and gritted her teeth. "All right. The pleasantries are over." She took her hand out from behind her back and opened it. It was a Yeerk. 

"This goes in you. I take your string. I go to your life. I live again. I leave you here. I take care of your so-called friends. I get the rewards. And your friends will be joining you soon enough. Deal?" 

I laughed. "No deal." I reached for my string. But something was wrong. I couldn't get to it. It was like I was... frozen. I cussed. 

"Melanie!" Leslie shouted with glee. "I never expected to hear you say THAT!" She regained her composure quickly. "I'll take that," she said. She reached over and took my string, yanking it in two and tying the loose end to her wrist. As soon as the string broke, I felt my knees go weak. I couldn't get home without the string. You needed both. The string and the memory. I still had the memory. She didn't. She looked at me as if she knew what I had been thinking. "Don't worry. All I need to escape this world is your string. My power makes up for your memory." 

"In that world, though, you won't have powers," I pointed out. 

"True. But those Animorphs don't believe you. The Chee doesn't." The Chee DON'T, I thought. Did she think that Erek was the only one? 

"There are more Chee? Fabulous. More money for me. Now, this last part before I leave." She walked over to me calmly and turned my head on the side. I closed my eyes, urging my muscles to work. Nothing happened. I felt the Yeerk- no, that isn't right. I didn't have a body. I could only feel emotions and knowledge. I knew the Yeerk was crawling into my ear. That's right. 

When she was done, Nicole took a step back, admiring her work even though she couldn't see it. Or could she? She grinned at me and then gasped. "Oh! Before I forget." She tossed me a crystal ball the size of my fist. "That's a viewing crystal given to me by a gypsy spirit." 

I raised my eyebrows. I could move now, even though I couldn't attack her. 

"Okay, okay. I admit. I stole it off of a spirit. Don't know if it was a gypsy or not. Anywho, you can see whoever you want to see and hear whatever you want to hear with that thing. Didn't want you to miss your so-called friends losing their lives. I hope to see you never again," she told me with a grin. She yanked on my string and disappeared. 

Now, nothing in this universe was familiar. I was alone with the colored fog. 

I looked down at the viewing crystal in my hands. "Show me Leslie," I instructed it. It didn't do anything. I prayed that it wasn't her last laugh that I had just fallen for. "Please?" I asked. My voice shook. I cleared it and coughed, looking around and hoping no one had seen me almost break down. 

Suddenly, inside the crystal, I recognized my room. There I was, on the bed. Good Lord, I looked good. I grinned at myself. That was a pretty good joke. Very good. Long blond hair. Medium-green eyes. Except now, the eyes weren't green. They were brown. My beautiful eyes were brown. 

"One of your races, or sub-races, I suppose, got it right." I turned around wildly and stared at the form in front and above me. The Ellimist. "The Egyptians," he went on to explain, "said that the eyes were the key to a person's soul. The gateway, if you will." 

"I didn't know you were so interested," I said softly. 

"I was very interested, at the time. They were the only people throughout the universe- all of them besides this one- to get it right. Humans are given less credit than they should receive." 

"I'm sure." The Ellimist looked at me evenly. I sighed. "Look, can you just get me out of here? I need to warn the others." 

"I can't move you through this universe." 

"Why not?" 

"Because only you have that power. In this universe, the only person who can leave has to do it on their own. I came because you will need help." 

I laughed. "You can't help me, but you're going to give me help?" 

"Yes. People to encourage you. You will need it. Though when the Journey is over, it is safe to say that you will be changed forever." 

"How so?" 

"Leslie has changed. She escaped, however. She stole another person's body in order to live again. She shall have to pay for it." 

"How?" 

"Your body will become incredibly sick- just a warning. If she does not heed the warning, then worse will happen. Nothing past the warning has happened yet, but we shall see." He looked around at the colors swirling around us. "This place makes up it's own rules." 

I felt my forehead form creases. "Okay. At least tell me how to get out of here." 

The Ellimist looked at me evenly, considering. "You will see. You must go on the Journey first, though. Everyone does if they don't want worse to happen to them." 

"So all I have to do is complete this Journey? What kind of Journey?" 

"The Journey is what the dead go through. They must understand themselves and accept themselves for who they are. That is why many people die. They lose understanding. Therefore, you must do the opposite and gain understanding." 

"Okay. Sounds easy." 

"Trust me. It is not. You need to complete the Journey in three days if you wish to help the others." 

"Why three?" 

"Time is different here. If you complete your Journey in three days here, Leslie will be sick enough that you can reclaim your body easily. All things will be made clear." 

"Yeah, well, I hope so. Because you don't help to understand anything at all. You just confused the heck out of me." 

"Good luck." 

"WAIT!" I had shouted too late. He'd left already. There was no one and nothing there but me and the colors. 

* * * 

Leslie stretched luxuriously out across the bed, enjoying the feeling of simply stretching. She hopped up and landed lightly on the floor. That was something she had always envied Mel for. The girl could move easily, speak easily. But now, the Yeerk would be doing all it could to keep her in that world long enough for Leslie to complete what she had to do. 

She walked to the closet and opened the door, examining the clothes. Mel hadn't really had much fashion sense. She didn't have any tight leather. No boots with heels. Basically, Mel was the same goody-two-shoes she had known and almost killed so many years before. 

Well, at least Mel was dead now. She wouldn't be interfering in Leslie's plans anymore. Leslie, who had carefully ran through Mel's memories in the "other universe" she thought with a grin, opened the second drawer of the filing cabinet in the closet and took out a photo. There was Rachel, Jake, Cassie, Marco, and even Tobias and Ax in their human morphs. 

Leslie grinned at the picture. "It's too late now, Animorphs. Before you know it, you'll be wishing had never been born." 

* * * 

Tobias sat in his tree. Ordinarily, he would have been asleep. But something was bothering him. He shifted on his talons nervously. 

You could not get sleep either, Tobias? asked Ax as he came gallopping over. 

No, Ax. Something about what Mel said. 

Yes, I know. She has never been wrong before. 

A shiver suddenly ran down Tobias's spine. He ruffled his feathers and noticed that Ax was suddenly shivering. 

You felt that too? he asked. 

Ax nodded, a trick he had learned from his human friends. It is what Marco calls a 'disturbance in the force,' is it not? 

Something like that. Tobias looked at the moon thoughtfully. I think we need to go get the others. Something about that makes me think about Mel. 

* * * 

Cassie sat straight up in bed, shaking. Rachel, who was spending the night, was doing the same. 

"I had the weirdest dream," Rachel confessed. 

"About Mel?" Cassie asked. 

"Not exactly. I mean, I was stomping Kenny to death for some reason, and then I see Mel and I wake up." 

Cassie nodded. "I wasn't dreaming. I just suddenly saw her and woke up." 

They looked at each other. 

"I think we need to get the others," Rachel said. 

"Quiet," Cassie reminded her. 

"I know, I know. Let's do this." 

Cassie groaned. 

* * * 

Marco and Jake jogged into the barn. 

"Anyone else get the feeling that we're stuck in a really bad episode of the X-Files?" Marco joked. 

Ignoring him, Rachel told Jake, "It has to do with Mel." 

"We know that," Jake said, nodding. "The question is, what?" 

"Why don't we just ask her?" Rachel said with a shrug. 

That would be a good idea, Tobias agreed. Except we swung around by her house before we left. She wasn't there. 

* * * 

Leslie had finally settled on jeans and a tight shirt. She walked around town, into a part of town only Mel would know well. It was the old school campus. 

Leslie walked to a building that had recently burned down. No one had yet cleaned up the ashes. The place reeked of smoke, which covered up the scent of alcohol. She could tell whenever there was any alcohol around. It had been her best friend for years. Right up there with coke, in her opinion. 

She examined the place where there should have been an entrance to the Yeerk pool. There was no longer any hole. She sighed and sat down. There were other entrances, but she couldn't get past them because of the life-filter things. She hadn't memorized the name that Mel had known. It wasn't important anyway. She would just find a Controller on this side. She knew plenty of Controllers. All she had to do was get in contact with them. 

Those friends of Mel's were going down. 

* * * 

Okay, Jake said. All we have to do is find Mel. We find her, we get her to answer some questions. That's all. 

You're talking about this as if it's a manhunt, Cassie said unhappily. 

Have to, Marco told her. This is new. Erek said that whenever she learns something new, it takes her a while to learn how to control it. If she can make us think about certain things, imagine what would happen. 

Cassie didn't say anything. She just licked her paw. 

Okay, everybody. Come on, Jake said after a moment. 

The pack of wolves set out, sniffing the ground to find the trail their prey had taken. 

* * * 

Okay, so at least they were hunting her down. That might be a problem, though. They could catch Leslie, they could ask her questions, but she wouldn't be able to tell them anything. I was the one they needed. I had to get back there, and fast. Every moment I took gave Leslie more time. 

Once again, she had tried to kill me. And whether she liked it or not, she was once again going to fail. 

I don't die easily. Well, I _**HAD,**_ but I don't **_STAY_** dead easily. That's what I'm trying to say. 

* * * 

Poor, Mel, I thought. She actually thought she was going to win against me. Well, she would just have to deal with the fact that she'd be stuck there. After all, I had been stuck there for years. The result of a slight overdose. All right, more than a _SLIGHT_ overdose. I'd only had two packs. I couldn't help it, though. It had been good stuff. 

But I found myself actually taking pity on Mel. Hadn't she realized that the Yeerk was there for a reason? Everything she thought, everything she saw and heard, I would know. The Yeerk, in that universe, would survive a lot longer than one here had. It had survived in me for years after my going there. 

And her friends were trying to find out what was wrong. That was so sweet. She'd actually found friends- Oh, wait. No. They were chasing her so she could get her power back under control so they wouldn't get caught. That was my advantage over Mel- she wasn't very good at making friends. She had lost her trust in other people since our last run-in. People who weren't trusted didn't trust others, and she let it show. 

I'd learned to at least pretend that I trusted someone. It had been useful in a lot of deals. 

The problem was this Ellimist guy. He'd promised to send her help. The Ellimist cared more for her and his little group of heroes than me. In this universe, I'd have to watch out for everybody. That Ellimist guy was pretty powerful, and I had no doubt that he'd try to kill me. 

Right then, I felt like Mel. I didn't trust anyone or anything. Every shadow was another threat. I could have used her friends right then. Or better yet, their powers. To be able to change into any animal like that boy Marco had... 

That's it. I'd have to get the box first. Had there been anything in Mel's memories as to where it was hidden? Marco's? No. If there had been, I hadn't read it thoroughly enough. Then again, there had been a lot of big words. Words that I hadn't known the meanings of. 

Mel actually had really complex thoughts. I hadn't been able to make sense of a lot them. But I also wanted her power- to know everything about someone just by touching them, to be able to move things. 

To be able to call to people when you needed help. 

When she had died, her friends had thought of her at that exact moment. That hadn't happened to me when I had died. I'd found out a long time later when I got the crystal that my body hadn't even been found until nearly six months later. At least it hadn't been found before then by anyone who cared to report it. 

But Mel was gone now. And I wasn't going to make any mistakes. Everyone who had hurt me before was going to regret it. To begin with, I'd have to get Mel's family and friends out of the way... 

* * * 

Nice try, I thought. I opened my eyes and stared at the wall of colors. I had just joined my mind with Leslie's. I knew why she had put the Yeerk in my head. It wasn't to control me- the Yeerk apparently couldn't do that here. 

I closed my eyes again and apologized to it. _I'm sorry I have to kill you._ Those very words. The bluntfulness wasn't something I wanted to remember, but I did it anyway. 

For a while, it didn't respond. _Just go ahead and do it,_ it finally said. _Yeerks weren't meant to live this long. I want to go to my own world. It's more familiar. _

You WANT to die? 

Yes. I never liked being in Leslie. I don't like working for her, either. I want to die and go to the Yeerks' death universe. I'd rather be in the Great Pool than here. No offense. 

None taken. I focused my mind and tried an experiment, quickly setting fire to it in my mind. It wasn't a real fire. It merely burned the Yeerk from the inside out and lessened as the Yeerk particles lessened as painlessly as I could manage. 

I wished it good luck with my mind, but it was already swimming happily in a huge pool. I shook my head, slightly confused. I'd never met anyone or anything that WANTED to die. It was new for me. 

I stood up. Suddenly, I wasn't in the place surrounded by all of the colors. I was standing on a dirt road with woods on either side. In front of me, the road went on forever. I didn't see any end to it. Behind me, though, was absolutely nothing. 

"It's about time you got here," the girl next to me said. "We've been waiting for you for hours." 

A fox at her feet stood on all four legs and stretched, yawning. ~Relax, Jenny. She has other cares besides her own.~ 

Jenny humphed. "All the same. I'm not used to waiting," she told me. 

I smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, but who are you?" 

Jenny pointed to herself. "I'm Jenny. One of your ancestors. I'm the one who took you to Earth." 

"I'm sorry. TOOK me?" 

"Yes." She looked at me and finally realized that I didn't know what the heck she was saying. "Well, the fox here is Sly. His real name is really hard to pronounce, and he gets angry if you get it wrong." 

~I don't get angry,~ the fox said. ~A few playful bites, that's all.~ 

"And one of those 'playful' bites removed Cliff's leg once." 

~He got in the way,~ the fox grumbled. 

"Who's Cliff?" 

"Another one of your ancestors. He'll meet us after the next stop on your journey." She started walking. The fox, still stretching from time to time, and I followed. "I'm glad you finally learned how to use your powers," Jenny said. "All my life, I was trying to work up to my full potential. I was never as good as you, though." 

~That's because the girl is meant to do things with the powers.~ 

"What things?" I asked. "Oh, yeah. You can call me Mel, by the way." 

~That is only a name,~ the fox said testily. ~You do not understand true names. True names describe everyone in detail. You humans are too obsessed with these shorter names. They do not tell who a person is.~ 

"Okaaaaaaaay. But what am I supposed to do with my powers?" 

~That is left to fate to decide.~ 

I raised my eyebrows. 

"Here we are," Jenny said. "This is the second stop." 

"If you don't mind my asking," I interrupted. "What was the first stop?" 

~The present,~ the fox answered. ~You helped your friends by killing the Yeerk. You made the Yeerk happy. Your friends have a better chance at helping other people now.~ 

"Oh." Was it just me, or was the fox making no sense whatsoever? And why was I walking here with a fox in the first place? 

I looked at the walkway that branched off from the path. "That's the way?" I asked Jenny. 

She nodded. 

"Don't worry. You have a shorter Journey than some. You made the right choices quite a few times." 

I started walking down the path. So it was all about the right choices. That was easy. I hadn't made many bad ones in my lifetime. Then again, I hadn't had a very long lifetime. 

I'd be past this Journey and home before dinner, hopefully. For the first time in a while, things were looking up. 

Except for the parts I'd forgotten. Stolen nuclear missiles; the Chee; the Animorphs; and Leslie. I hadn't yet even thought that they might all be connected. 

I knew I'd be able to get back in time. But I didn't count on what would happen after I got back. 


	2. A Lesson Learned, Part 2

Copyright 2000 Disclaimer- Most of the characters are K.A. Applegate's. The rest are mine. 

Chapter 3 

Okay, so this is going to be me a lot for a bit. I'm going to speed through the first few stops on the Journey because most of them were menial and don't matter that much. 

However, there ARE some you should know about, I guess. 

When I was five, we had some next door neighbors. My best friends at the time. This was when I was growing up in the hood, by the way. Anyway, my neighbors were black. I didn't even notice until- well, I'm getting to that. So anway, the oldest sister got really PO-ed at me because she was used to being the boss and her younger sisters were beginning to listen to me more than they listened to her. So one day, I go outside, and they're all standing along the edge of our yards, on the border. The oldest girl called me something, well, really, REALLY bad and then picked up a baseball bat while I was trying to figure out what the word meant. My dad came out and brought me inside. 

From that point on, I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't be that stupid anymore. I would know everything I could. My stupidity had nearly gotten me killed. 

I wasn't allowed in the front or back yard after that. 

There were a lot of smaller slide shows. None of them were that great. Basically they showed me all of my friendships that had gone down the tube. Each time, a little question would present itself- seemingly deep inside me somewhere. The question was always "Would you have done the same thing knowing what you know now?" I always answered yes, and, low and behold, the next slide would be my so-called friend admitting that they were using me for something, or playing a cruel trick on me, or saying that they thought I was weird. Some even said they never wanted to talk to me again. 

Each time one of my friends ditched me, I felt the pain I had felt then, only I felt each pain on top of the other ones. It got a bit harder to say yes to the Question, but I managed it. I knew I'd built a wall around myself. The door to get through the wall was harder to move for even me, but if someone was truly a friend, they'd be able to get through. 

If they cared enough to truly try. 

When I came out of that door, Jenny was standing there with the fox and a man I hadn't seen before. 

"Good job," the man told me. 

I looked at him. "You must be Cliff." 

He nodded and started walking. Jenny and I followed. "Good job, kiddo," Jenny said to me. I grinned at her. 

I can't think of many others you really have to know about. 

At one point, I asked Jenny why she looked so young- and acted so young. 

She laughed and said, "I died young, kiddo." 

"How did you die?" 

She had paused for a moment. "People long ago didn't like witches." 

"Is that what I am? A witch? The others were right?" 

She had laughed again. "Humans, kiddo. Anything they can't recognize, or at least back then, they blamed it all on witchcraft. And face it, kiddo. We're liked, and we're hated at the same time. Humans don't like confusion. They would usually prefer to run away from complicated things rather than confront their fears." She had sighed. "I was someone they couldn't explain. SomeTHING they couldn't explain. They burned me because they didn't see that I could actually help them." 

"I'm sorry." 

She had looked at me oddly. 

"I know you are, kiddo. But trust me on this one, I don't blame them. You can't hate someone for not knowing any better. Remember that one." 

"I will." 

I hate to say it, but the Ellimist had been right. Jenny, Cliff, and the fox- no matter how confusing he was- were all great cheerleaders. I didn't tell them about what happened to me on my Journey, though. I appreciated the fact that they didn't ask. 

Finally, we reached the end of the trail. 

Cliff pointed to the huge door. It was iron. "Iron," Cliff explained, "means that this is the hardest part of your Journey. That is why it is last." 

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" I asked. We had talked a lot on the Road, about everything from ball games to wars of all sorts. Through it all, I hadn't been able to shake the feeling that I knew him from somewhere. 

He smiled sadly at me. "We've met before. We'll meet again." 

"We're meeting now." 

"Not for the first time, though. You'll understand. Soon." 

"Better later than now," Jenny cut in. "Listen, kiddo. You've gotta get back there and teach that Leslie girl a thing or two. And those friends of yours? It's okay." 

"What?" 

She hugged me. "I know how it feels. You trust them. You might not want to, but you do. And don't worry. They won't betray your trust if they know what they're doing. Now, remember. You can come back and visit us anytime you want. Leslie might have been here longer, but in the long run, you can beat her at her own games." 

"Thanks." I hugged back quickly before letting go. 

~Will you remember all this advice?~ the fox asked. 

"I'll try," I promised. 

~Don't try. Do. And I have my own words of advice to offer you. Never hurt an animal. I noticed that you didn't even kill the flies on your Journey, though you did in your other life.~ 

"You guys saw that?" 

~The animals did. You helped the animals. After all, that is why you are on that planet.~ 

"To save the whales?" I asked, making the lamest joke I had made in a long time. 

Sly sighed. ~Like it or not, I must tell you that all will one day be made clear. Now. For my advice. Never harm an animal, unless it is a human. And only then, it must be in the name of Justice.~ 

"Do I have to say that first. The 'In the name of Justice'?" 

Sly turned his head and looked at me as if I were crazy. ~Of course not. My second piece of advice is this: Never turn your back on an enemy.~ 

"Thank you." I knelt down beside him. "And good-bye, Sly. You are the weirdest fox I have, do, and ever will know." 

He looked away. ~The girl is making me blush.~ 

We laughed. 

Suddenly, there was a noise in the tree above me. *I have advice too!* the bird shouted. It's thought-speak voice was different. Noisier and more hasty. 

"All right, Chirp," Jenny said, covering her ears. "Calm down and tell her." 

Chirp rustled his feathers and calmed down as he had been commanded. He looked at me evenly. *When there is no other way, always look up.* 

"What kind of advice is that?" Jenny asked. 

*She'll see.* 

Cliff looked at me. He was serious again. "I hate to say it, but you do have to go. This will be the hardest part." I shook hands with him. On second thought, we quickly hugged. I thanked Chirp, the bird, and went through the door. 

It really was the hardest part. Someone was holding me under the water, but besides that, I was alone and surrounded only by water. I was going to die. The voice inside me kept telling me that I was going to die. Eventually, my burning lungs would give in to the pain, and I would breathe in water. A huge breath of water that I would never be able to get out of my lungs, and I would suffocate before anyone would ever be able to get it out. 

There was a flash in front of my eyes. There were the guys- Jake, Cassie, Rachel, Tobias, Marco, and Ax. I'd asked them for help before it had gone this far. They had taken one look at Leslie and her gang of- well, humans, I guess- and chickened out. 

The Question took the vision's place. _Would you have done the same thing knowing what you know now?_

_YES!_ I shouted. It had only been a trick, I told myself. I hadn't known the guys back then. They hadn't turned me down. That had been my other friends. I didn't even remember their names. 

Another flash. I was in the lobby of the Y, calling my mom so she could pick me up. She asked why. I told her that Leslie and the others were trying to beat me up. My mom had started laughing. Leslie and snuck up behind me. She pressed down the button and ended the conversation between me and my mom. After that, she had chased me into the pool. That was how I had ended up in the deep end with her holding my head under water. If only my mom had believed me... 

_Would you have done the same thing knowing what you know now?_

_Yes._ I said it more softly than before. 

Now I came up again. I took a deep breath as I broke the surface. Someone was a standing a few feet away, watching the lifeguards to make sure Leslie didn't get caught. The person turned my way. It was Cliff. Oh, God. He grinned at me, cold hatred shining in his eyes. 

Even though I hadn't done so years before, I turned around, released from Leslie's grip. Only she wasn't Leslie. She was Jenny. Jenny was laughing at me. I was helpless. I was nothing but the new kid who had just moved out of the hood and into that rich people's neighborhood. I'd been too good for them. I should have done what Leslie/Jenny had told me to do. I should have obeyed her- They wouldn't have tried to kill me then. They'd have helped me. If I had been in trouble, they wouldn't have been playing Marco Polo in the safe shallow end like my so-called friends were. 

I looked at the lifeguard. It was the fox. He looked at me, taking pity on me. He wasn't going to do anything, though. He knew Leslie. He knew her too well. 

_What decision will you make?_

The Question shocked me. It was different from the one before. Then I understood. That fight had been a major turning point in my life. It had made me wonder that about every other friend in my entire lifetime. This had been the event where I had lost my true childhood and innocence, my entire trust. This was the fight when I had realized what the real world was in a few minutes. Those few minutes had changed my life forever. I had needed to ask myself whether I really wanted to live. The answer, back then, had been, "I don't care how awful my life is. Eventually it has to get better." Then I had fought. And as life went on, I came to understand life- or at least understand it enough to enjoy it. 

Every time I used my power, I got a major dose of everyone else's joys, just as I adopted their fears and sorrows. 

But I still liked to live. Those sad, scary, and awful times in life were as much a part of living as the joyous times. 

_The same one I made last time,_I told the Force that had asked the question firmly. 

I wasn't in the pool anymore. I was in another room. I used a power and searched it. There was a foggy wall twelve feet in every direction. Only two feet below me. A square room. What power had I used again? Erek would want to know this. 

Using the newfound power, I felt someone or something come into the room. 

_Well done,_ the Force said. It didn't use words. I simply knew what it said. 

"Can I go home now?" I asked. 

I felt the Force nod. _Yes. But there are problems there._

"What kind of problems?" 

_Use your powers. You have them for a reason._

"You know why I-" 

Suddenly, I wasn't in the room anymore. I was somewhere else. It looked like the woods. I looked at my hands. They were my own hands again. But something was under the skin. It shimmered for a few moments, and I was able to see a faint string of a thousand different colors stretching into nothingness. 

I stood up. I had on my favorite outfit- jeans, boots, a tank top, and a long-sleeved shirt to go over it. 

Had I shoved Leslie out of my body? Or was she still in here somewhere? This was getting to be a pain. I hated questions. 

I started walking toward town. I threw out a string in front of me and felt it grab onto something that seemed like painted wood. The string actually even sent information back to me- like there were animals in this place. Lots of people. People who had secrets. I loved secrets. But I already knew this secret. It was Cassie's barn. I started jogging. I couldn't wait to see the guys. 

* * * 

She was standing in the woods near the Youth College, thinking. That girl, Mel. She had been following the girl ever since the building had burned down- thanks to her friends. She still hadn't found out who they were- or whether or not they were human. No human she knew of could change into an animal. Then there had been that creature with them. Whatever it was, that had definitely NOT been human. 

But that didn't change the fact. Why was Mel here, in the middle of nowhere, rubbing around in the soot. She had already gone through the ruins long before this girl- there was nothing there. Whatever hadn't been destroyed had been taken by the campus kids as souvenirs. 

As she watched, a pack of wolves approached the girl. Silently, she backed up and walked hurriedly to her car. She had to get them. The sooner, the better. 

* * * 

They found her at the old Youth College, where Cassie had gone to school that past summer. She had looked up at them and smiled. 

"Hi." 

Mel, where have you been? Jake demanded. You were out all night and- 

"I'm fine, Marco," she had said firmly. Everyone stared at her. Leslie had kicked herself. Jake was the bossy one! Not Marco! 

"Jake. Sorry. Kinda tired. You know." 

Yeah. Right. For some reason, Jake hadn't completely believed her. 

Come on, Cassie had said finally. We'd better get you home before you get caught. 

"I won't get caught. I never get caught. Except maybe once, but not anymore. I took care of THAT problem." The others had looked at each other. This Mel was different. 

Are you okay? Marco had asked. You know, sane? 

She had laughed at that. "Of course I am. I just need to pick up something on the way home." 

Why did you come here? Ax had asked. 

She had shrugged. "Trust me." 

Tobias had laughed and ruffled his feathers. Of course we trust you, Mel. Remember? The pool? 

She had laughed. 

The trip home, hadn't been the one they had expected. She led them into the rough neighborhoods. 

What are we doing here? Cassie had asked. You seem like you know your way around. 

"Of course I do. I grew up here." 

She had led them to an old house. Rachel's wolf nose had picked up things she didn't necessarily like. Beer, smoke from cigarettes, and a bunch of clumps and powdery stuff that smelled suspiciously like drugs. Also some stuff on the walls and carpet some humans had left behind- not to mention a few animals. 

"Here it is," she had said. She turned from the closet she had been looking in. She looked at them with a stupid grin on her face. She was holding a gun. "Now. You guys are going to come with me, make me lots of money, and- no. I guess you guys WON'T be living happily ever after." 

Mel? Jake asked, laughing nervously. Surely she didn't think a GUN could kill them. If she did, then she must have hurt her head somewhere. 

Now Mel laughed. "Haven't you heard the latest newsflash, Animorphs? Mel's dead. I killed her. I'm just, uh, borrowing her body interminably." 

* * * 

Suddenly, she had collapsed, doubled over in pain. Ax had hurried over and hit the gun away with a paw, grumbling about how he hated this morph. He preferred his own body. 

When she got up again, she looked as if she were still in pain. 

We need to get her to a hospital, Cassie said swiftly. I think she hit her head. Not to mention whatever just happened to her. 

Man, I can't wait to see her explain to her parents how she did THIS! Rachel said. 

Here. I'll handle it. Marco, who had been left in another room because the room the others were in was so small, came into the room, now as a gorilla. Geez. I know you hate my carrying you like a baby, so I suggest you don't do this to yourself. 

They had finally managed to get across town, morphing as they had nearly ran out of time. Mel wouldn't say anything. She looked confused. 

They went to Cassie's barn first, so Mel and Marco, not to mention the others, could get some rest. 

Cassie, demorphed, had opened the door. 

Mel, who had been sitting on a bale of hay, jumped up. "Hey! Finally." She stared at the other Mel in Marco's arms. "Crud." 

I'll say, Rachel agreed. 

* * * 

Jake demorphed, looking from me to Leslie. "Mel? Mel? Either of you care to explain what the -- is going on?" 

I walked over to Leslie, who was cradled in Marco's arms. She was shaking just a bit, and she had her eyes squeezed shut. So I hadn't replaced her in my own bod after all. I had come into a completely new body. It did feel kind of different. Not stiff, though. It felt like it had enough energy to last a whole lot longer than a lifetime. 

"What happened?" I asked. 

Everyone except Marco started to demorph. I looked up at Marco. "Put her on a bale of hay. Or better yet, the floor." He looked at me, confused, and put Leslie on a nearby bale of hay before demorphing. 

"She got sick," Rachel told me unhappily. She didn't seem pleased with the fact that I wasn't explaining anything. 

"When?" I asked. 

"We couldn't find you," Jake explained, glancing undecidedly at Leslie and me. "We followed her scent to the Youth College. We found Mel- I mean, you-, and you- Mel- took us to this neighborhood. She- you- I mean-" 

I sighed. "Her name is Leslie." 

He looked more confused than ever, but accepted it. 

"Right. Leslie went into this house and held a gun on us and-" 

I blanched. "She held you up with a GUN?!" I shouted. 

He looked at me. I could tell everyone else was as confused as he was. 

"Sorry. Go on. I'll try and hold my comments until you're done. Promise." 

He nodded. "Anyway, then she suddenly doubled over. Marco brought her here." 

"Doubled over? Why?" 

"It looked like she was in pain," Cassie said. "I thought maybe you- she had hit her head or something and it was making her spaz out or something." 

I grinned. Leslie must have felt when I had come in my own body. It would hurt her much more than it would me. "No. Leslie does spaz, but it wasn't because of her usual, uh, activities." 

Why? asked Tobias. He had flown to one of the rafters, his favorite perch. 

"This is going to take a lot of explaining." I took a deep breath. Then I began to tell them everything. From my dreams to going into the barn and waiting for them. 

* * * 

Brandy sat up in bed. She felt... weird. Like she should be somewhere else. 

Without knowing why, she got up and dressed. A force was pulling her. She let it. She walked for what felt like miles, feeling as if she were dreaming. Finally, she stopped, jerking herself awake. 

This was the weirdest thing that had ever happened to her. Well, okay. She's had weirder things happen to her. Like that time a few months ago. 

She crept closer to the barn. "We'll have to keep her someplace." The voice sounded familiar. Brandy ran through a list of people she knew and found a perfect match: Mel. Of course. Mel had probably lured her out here with witchcraft or something. 

"Why?" This voice took longer for Brandy to place, but she finally found a match. It was a girl from the Youth College. Her name had been Cathy. No, that hadn't been it. Cassie. 

"She held a gun on you. And I don't know about you guys, but I don't want to be the one watching her 24-7. My mind'll get tired. Besides, the Ellimist said that she'll get really sick. She might go back on her own." 

The Ellimist? So Mel hadn't been a witch after all. 

She'd been stark raving mad. 

"When?" a boy asked. 

Silence for a few seconds. "I don't know. The Ellimist said it was three days there. But some of the stops took a bit longer than others." 

There was more silence. 

Suddenly, another boy said, "Yeah. You might as well, Tobias. Tell him to come fast. Mel, why don't you go home and get some sleep? Your parents are probably going to kill you." Brandy watched as a hawk flew out of the window above the door. 

"I don't know why you bothered to put that 'probably' in there. I'm dead for sure. Well, I'll come back from the world of the dead again and talk to you tomorrow. Deal?" 

A few moments later, Mel walked out of the barn quietly and closed the huge door behind her. She looked up and saw Brandy. 

"It's too early in the morning for this," she moaned. She started walking toward Brandy. "Hey. What are you doing here?" She reached out her hand to shake hands with Brandy. 

Suddenly, Brandy wasn't there anymore. She was looking around her own room like an idiot. Confused, she crawled into bed and buried herself under the covers. Something very weird was going on here. And Brandy didn't like it. She didn't appear and disappear between places like that. She didn't hear conversations about Ellimists or see birds fly out of windows. She had been dreaming. She blinked open her eyes. There was a huge eyeball in front of her. "You weren't dreaming," it began. "I have a few things for you to do..." 

* * * 

I was finally in my own bed. Erek had come to get Leslie. I had told him that he could do experiments with _her_ mind instead of mine. Get her to throw up for a change. The new problem, though, was Brandy. How much had she heard? I hadn't been able to find out. Some force had taken her away suddenly. I had a deep feeling that it had been Crayak. 

What is it with Crayak? He can never mind his own business. 

Finally, around four in the morning, I fell asleep. 

I wasn't on the road. I was in a field. Cliff and Jenny had set up a table that was piled high with candy. I found a twix and pulled it out. "What's up?" I asked. 

Jenny, serious for once, looked into my eyes. I found out quickly that when someone was talking to you here, you looked right into their eyes. "We've got trouble." 

I nodded. "I know. Leslie. Were there supposed to be two of me?" 

She shook her head. "Another problem. A few of the freed Controllers have stolen nuclear bombs. They're planning to blow up the Yeerk pool." 

I laughed. "But the pool is under the entire city! They couldn't do that. They'd kill everyone for miles." 

"Maybe not miles," Cliff admitted. "But it will be a lot of damage." 

"Not all of those people can go on the journey." Jenny sighed and took out a Reese's Cup. "They can't if they don't have any bodies to live in." 

"But how did I do that then? Leslie was in my body." 

Cliff and Jenny looked at me for a few seconds and then looke at each other. "Yours was a special circumstance," Cliff said. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Never mind that," Jenny said quickly. "Grab another Twix bar and scram. You've got a lot of work to do." 

* * * 

She had been coming home. She lost the wolves and the girl, Mel, along the way somewhere- she wasn't even sure where. Her head was hung low as she drove into the driveway. 

And then, what do you know? She looks over across the street, and there's Mel, running out of her house as if it was the Indy 500 without wheels. 

She paused and looked at her car. Every time she had attempted to follow them on foot, she'd lost them. But without a car, she should be able to fit into all the places they could fit into. She began running quietly after Mel. Mel went to the barn. 

* * * 

Oh, boy. Nuclear bombs. Leslie, Brandy, and Lord only knew what else. Why couldn't I just have an ORDINARY bad day like everyone else? 


	3. A Lesson Learned, Part 3

Disclaimer: Most of the characters in the following story belong to K.A. Applegate. The rest, sadly, are mine. Copyright 2000. 

________________________________________________ 

Chapter 4 

"Could you please repeat that?" Cassie asked, rubbing her eyes. So far, all I had said was "Hello, I need to talk to you." She and I were the only ones in the barn. At five in the morning, I couldn't find the others to get them here. So, me- being me- had awakened Cassie in the middle of the night so I could tell her everything so she could tell the others everything in the morning. 

I counted to five. "Are you awake yet?" 

"No." She kept rubbing at her eyes. 

"How about this for breakfast? Brandy is working for the Crayak- I think. A bunch of freed Controllers have stolen nuclear bombs and are planning to blow up the Yeerk pool, which, I must remind you, is under the entire city. They blow that up, everything goes bang; city go bye-bye. Thousands of lives lost. And, sadly, there will only be one up side." 

Cassie was wide awake now. "What's that?" she asked. I could have sworn that she was halfway into shock. 

I shrugged. "We won't be having any school Monday." 

* * * 

She went over to the girl's house- not Mel's, Brandy's. She had heard the conversation between Mel and the girl Cassie in the barn. She didn't know what a Crayak was, nor did she know what Controllers were, or how these Controllers- if they controlled something- could be free. All she knew was that this girl Brandy might know. 

Brandy didn't. 

Still, by the time she left, she and Brandy had devised a plan. However, she didn't tell Brandy that if the plan worked, she was going to kill Brandy and all of the others. It kind of made sense, actually. In some twisted way. 

She grinned and looked across the street at Mel's house. It was nice to have power. Nice to be in control of the situation. Nice to be the hunter. 

* * * 

The others, hopefully, would not be contacting me. I'd told Cassie it was the only way. With so many people watching me, I couldn't risk getting them into trouble. 

Brandy called me the next morning, which I think surprised both of us. 

I picked up the phone on the second ring. "Hello?" 

I heard Brandy clear her throat. "Hello? Could I please speak to- Mel? Melanie? Please?" 

"Hey Brandy. You're talking to her. What's up?" I sat down. A polite conversation with Brandy? This was too much. I think I was going into shock. 

"Mel? Um, I was wondering if you could come over here for a few minutes. I, like, REALLY need to talk to you." 

"Uh-huh. Why?" 

A pause. A few seconds later, "Please? I can't talk to you over the phone. Could you just come over please?" 

Brandy needed help? What else was new? EVERYONE needed help. I sighed. Might as well do something. 

"Sure. I'll be over in about half an hour. I'll have to catch the bus though." 

"Okay. Thanks." 

I put the phone down. Brandy was talking to me politely, asking my help, and actually saying thanks. Something was up. I had to find out what it was. Crayak? No, this wasn't his style- not that I knew much about what his style was- but this wasn't it. That left the option that Brandy was really serious. She probably wanted to know how she could suddenly appear and disappear from a certain place. I'd have to explain it to her- not really explain- I'd probably have to tell a flat-out lie. 

I started walking to the bus stop. 

* * * 

I knocked on the door, but nothing happened. I knocked again and waited. I don't like waiting. Especially not now, when everything was a matter of time. I twisted the knob irritably. It turned. 

I paused and looked around. Yep, something was definitely up. People in this city don't leave their doors unlocked- even if they were inside at the time. 

I stepped in and looked around. This was apparently the living room. A Persian carpet- I think it was an imitation- was in the middle of the floor, surrounded by a bunch of deep chairs and a piano Brandy probably had no clue how to play. 

Something hit me in the middle of the back. I remember flying forward, hitting my head on either the chair or the floor, and turning around. Matt's mom was standing above me with something that looked like a metal pipe in her hands. Brandy came up from behind her and looked at me oddly. She was surrounded with an odd light. 

And then I passed out. 

* * * 

The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of the Yeerk pool, except I couldn't see myself. And from the way everyone around me was acting, I knew they couldn't see me either. I was invisible, which in my experience meant that I wasn't there. I must have been having some sort of out-of-body experience or something. I looked around me. Why was I here? 

I felt a sudden onslaught of information. The others- a.k.a. the Animorphs- were here trying to find something to lead them to the freed Controllers. How had I known that? 

Another blast of info. 

The freed Controllers were already here. 

My attention was suddenly attracted to a fly sticking to a wall in the McDonald's. I walked over to it. It started to fly away down a hall. I kept following. 

Are you sure they're down here? Marco asked. 

Of course I'm not sure, Jake answered irritably. He was in another part of the pool, also looking for hints or clues. But we need to find the freed Controllers before they blow up the entire city. 

Well, I'm sorry to say it, but what if Marco's right on this one? Rachel cut in. 

My thoughts exactly, Marco agreed. 

I mean, Mel's never been wrong before, but there IS a first time for everything, right? 

Shouldn't we make sure that she's wrong before we just abandon everything? Cassie asked. I mean, you said so yourself. She's never been wrong before. Do you really want to risk it? 

I don't, Tobias said, making his first comment in the conversation. Jake, we're done searching the ammo tunnel. Ax and I are headed for the one that has Visser Three's quarters. 

Hold up on that, Jake ordered. Wait for the rest of us. Just in case. 

I heard Marco's private thought-speak to everyone except Jake. Just in case Bird-boy and Ax-man can't take down Visser Three and pretty much every single Controller in this place on alone. Just in case they don't want to commit suicide. Oh- wait. His thought-speak could be heard by Jake again. This IS suicide. Sorry. I thought this _WASN'T_ for a second. What was I thinking? 

I don't think you were actually "thinking," Marco, Rachel said. I have never seen you think, so why would you have started just now? 

Ha. Ha. 

I followed as a bunch of flies started flying down the hallway- I guess it was the only one left that they hadn't checked yet. 

I saw things along the walls that got me a little distracted. Blood stains on the walls. Dead roaches and insects, sometimes a dead bat or two shoved up against the wall. If the guys got caught... 

Looks like we found the freed Controllers, Tobias said sourly. I looked up and walked over to where the six flies were flying around near the ceiling in front of a door. 

Ax made his first comment. Is the device they have with them the nuclear bomb you were mentioning? 

Yes, Ax. That's it, Jake told him. 

But it's just a box. Like, two inches square. How could that be the nuclear bomb? Cassie wondered. 

It's probably just the trigger, Marco guessed. Really. Would you want to be in the Visser's quarters to blow him up when he could slice 'n dice you before you have a chance? They're probably going to hide somewhere down the hall and wait until he goes in. 

I'm not even going to ask how you know how to psycoanalyze them, Rachel grumbled. 

Lots of attempts to blow up the school or at least a toilet in the boys' bathroom. Caught every time. 

Silence. 

You know how to make a nuclear bomb? Ax finally asked, sounding somewhat awed. 

Marco sighed. No, Ax-man. Human joke. 

LAME human joke, Tobias agreed. 

Well, Jake said. Now or never. 

Never, Marco proposed. Everyone else ignored him. 

Let's do it! Rachel said emphatically. 

Everyone groaned. 

They demorphed and then remorphed into their battle morphs, preparing for the worst, I guess. Ax merely demorphed. Then they went into the room. 

There were five Controllers in the room- all of them had the same faint light around them that Brandy had had. They looked up as the guys went in. The biggest, yet most geekiest-looking guy in the group was the one holding the switch. He looked kind of nervous. Heck with that, they all looked a little nervous. 

Jake took charge. I noticed that he was nervous, too. I mean, why wouldn't he be? He'd handled a lot of battle situations- even though he hadn't wanted to- but he hadn't exactly had any practice to become a pro at hostage situations. I couldn't believe this. This was actually a real hostage situation. 

Listen. Um, you can't do this. You'd kill everybody. Not just the people in the Yeerk pool, but everyone in the city- everyone for miles. 

"They'll die anyway," the man said. 

The woman next to him added, "It's better than being a slave to those things." 

"We'll be careful," said another. I looked at him. He must have been a seven-year-old kid. Ridiculous! A seven-year-old taking part in something like this?! But then again, the Yeerks had taken Karen, and how old had she been? 

The man holding the switch was sweating. "Where were you, Andalites? Where were you when those filthy slugs came to Earth, huh? Where were you when they took me and my friends, my wife, my children? Where were you?" he was shouting now. If the guys didn't do something, there would be Controllers swarming all over the place. "Where were you?" the man had quieted his voice, but I knew it wasn't a good thing. His voice was dangerous now. "Where were you when Visser Three cut my wife's head from her body?" 

He held up the switch. His thumb was on it, and he was shaking badly. Fear, anger, desperation, loss, I don't know. I went over to him and put my hand on his wrist. 

This was my fault. I knew that. I was the one who had gone down to the pool that day. His wife had been in the pool, minding her own business, doing the Yeerk's duty or whatever. I'd gone down to save Brandy. I'd humiliated Visser Three. I'd defeated the Yeerks. The humans who had come out with weapons to help the Visser had been powerless against me. After we had left, the Visser had slain everyone for not being strong enough. It was my fault that this man who had later been saved by the Animorphs and Ax was now taking his revenge. It was my fault that he was going to kill every single soul in nearly a five mile radius- I'm not that good at knowing how much a bomb can blow up. 

Neither was this guy. All he knew that one of the freed Controllers had been in the military and gotten a nuclear bomb that hadn't even been properly tested. This guy, an ordinary yet somewhat geeky Joe, had disabled the Gleet-Boifilters. 

Now they were going to- Oh, my God. 

This was all my fault. 

The man was calm as I stepped back. He was scaring me now- just as I was becoming scared as I realized what I had done by using my power to save Brandy. 

The man was no longer shaking. The sweat was still pouring down his face, but he was gradually stopping. He looked calmly at the Animorphs and Ax. 

"No more," he said. He flicked the switch. 

* * * 

Everything was gone now. Every single thing that had lived was dead now. I could see that, even from this universe. I looked around. I had a feeling that I was crying, but I stopped myself. It had been my fault, after all. Let the other people cry for the life lost in that city. I would merely be the one they blamed, deep down in their hearts. If I cried, they would feel pity for me, but I didn't want that. I wanted the hate. I needed the hate. Hate was the punishment for what I had done. 

I looked around and saw the lines of time, connecting lives together and separating them, ending when someone died. I found an entire section of strings that had stopped suddenly and one that went on, a single string out of the many. Mine. I found where it twisted around the guys' strings and started to untangle it. Something was pushing against me, but I pushed it away. With each knot I undid, I forgot something. Why was I even doing this to begin with? The guys and I were going to find out what was going on and stop the freed Controllers from killing everyone. Eventaully, I forgot everything. All I knew was that I had to keep undoing the knots. If I didn't, something really bad would happen- my instincts were screaming it out at me, and I had really good instincts. I did what they told me to do. Still, that little force that kept me from pulling strings apart left and right was... _warning_ me? Who cared? It had to be better than killing all those people. I kept working at the knots. If they- who?- had never met me, I never would have gone into the Yeerk pool. If I hadn't met them, I would have never dicovered my full power. I would have never made the Yeerks capture Brandy. Matt's mom never would have begun to suspect me. All of those lives never would have been lost. 

With a final tug, I undid the last knot. 

The last thing I remember was that I had just started the calm before the storm. The twix bar before getting kicked out of the candy shop. 

* * * 

"And who knows," Mrs. Homesly, the English teacher at my school, asked, "what a gerund is?" 

I knew the answer. I raised my hand. 

"Mel?" 

"A verb acting as a noun," I said confidently. She nodded her satisfaction. 

What had happened? I felt... funny. Like I was brand new, but the new me was tired and somehow older, as if the other me had felt the weight of the world bearing down upon her. 

"Now," Mrs. Homesly continued, "I have a test for you." A few kids groaned. Mrs. Homesly grinned. "Just to see how much you remember or have forgotten during the summer. Don't worry, you won't be graded." 

She handed me my test. My hand brushed hers. 

I remembered. We had taught the summer class together. We hadn't had a student named Cassie. Mrs. Homesly wasn't a Controller. Someone or something had undone the line connecting her to the Yeerks, something I hadn't thought of doing. 

"Are you all right, Mel?" 

I nodded. Brandy, sitting in the seat next to me, snickered. Did she know? 

I sent a line out to find the others. Cassie was in Algebra, trying hard to stay awake and concentrate on what the teacher was saying at the same time. Her parents had tutored her. And she'd gotten some help from Erek- both a blessing and a curse. Marco had given up on trying to stay awake and wasn't bothering to hide it. He was about to fall out of his chair, so deep in sleep that he didn't even notice. Rachel was in the same class, wide awake and understanding everything. Jake was in history, yawning but still managing to take down some meager notes in his sloppy handwriting. Ax and Tobias were in Ax's scoop, watching a soap opera on TV. 

I checked on Erek, my former teacher, quickly before tuning in completely to the test. He was in a class that seemed to be science, completely bored and yet slightly interested in all that we humans had gotten right and wrong. He was making a quick sketch of a life-like dog in his notebook. I looked at it quickly. I could tell just by looking at it that it was a German sheperd. What was wrong with him? Didn't he know that drawing things that looked like pictures themselves would get him into trouble? If someone saw that and told someone- Erek couldn't pull off being famous- He'd tried once. Thomas Jefferson had gotten lucky on a number of occasions, but Erek King was a totally different matter. The moron would get caught! Idiot! Without meaning to- if I did it at all-, the picture- I mean, DRAWING- caught on fire. Erek, slightly panicked, knocked it onto the floor and watched with the rest of his classmates as it turned into ashes, which disappeared themselves. He looked around, confused. 

I went back to my own body and finished the test quickly. I had already known most of the answers- even without Mrs. Homesly's "help." I could once again touch someone and know everything about them. 

Erek would tell the guys, I knew it. They would try and find out what had happened. I would be very hard to find, I knew that. I knew I could make sure that I was never found. Yet some force probably wanted them to find me. Some force that wasn't Ellimist or Crayak. They didn't light up the people and things they effected. The Animorphs and I would meet again. 

I looked at Mrs. Homesly. There was a faint light around her now. A soft emerald hue shining faintly around her head. Had I done that to her? I hadn't noticed if whoever I had used my powers on had developed that aura around them. Or was that her true aura? No, because Matt's mom and Brandy had been surrounded by the same exact blood-red color, and I hadn't even used my power on Matt's mom. 

Speaking of Matt, was he still my boyfriend? I smiled- I sure hoped so. 

This red aura was a lot stronger. Possibly stronger than me. It was against me, I knew that. It had tried to kill me on several occasions. The Yeerks. Matt's mom. Brandy. The nuclear bomb. 

Like I had told Leslie, though, I was hard to kill. 

After all, so far, every time I had been killed, I'd rebounded. Maybe I was easy to kill, I guess. But it was harder to get me to stay dead, that was for sure. 

Like Jenny, Cliff, Sly, and Chirp had said, I had a part of fate to play. 

I was gonna play it for all it was worth. 


End file.
